"Better it Stays a Hobby Only"

"So what do you do?"

How many times do we encounter this question in our lives? People ask out of a mild curiosity, genuine interest, to fill up awkward silences and as an opening into what could develop into an engaging conversation. 

What happens to me is something like this…

Person: So what do you do?

Me: I am a dancer

Person: ohhh! (sometimes "how nice!" as an afterthought)

(SILENCE)

 photographer: Rob Kunkle

Sometimes they venture forward.

Person: So what kind of dance?

Me: Modern Dance

Person: Ohh! (PAUSE) So what is that?

Me: Modern dance originally began as a reaction to the rigidity of ballet…blah bah

(FIRSTLY, it is difficult to define Modern Dance. SECONDLY, the whole point is, it is constantly evolving and subverting prior definitions. THIRDLY, what Modern Dance means to me is a different discussion altogether.)

This is usually THE END.

But I often hear “so it is like what you see on MTV?”  No comment! In fact, in December, in a dance workshop in India, where we had to do short solos someone asked me, with the air of superiority which several Indian Classical dancers acquire, if I did Hip Hop. Honestly, I do not believe in compartmentalization and I have seen performers blend Hip Hop and Modern Dance with absolute flair and finesse. (And they can choose to call it Modern Hip Hop, Hip Hop Modern or something else altogether.) But I DO NOT do Hip Hop. And Hip Hop is not Modern Dance.  

Anyways, this is just one scenario.  More often, this is what happens, (usually in India), after I say that I am a dancer. (In fact, the same someone also had this conversation with me before he decided that I did Hip Hop)

Person: So you do Bharatnatyam or Kathak?

Me: neither

Person: Ohhh (SILENCE)

And sometimes…

Person: But Classical is a MUST.

Me: I have studied Western Classical forms like Modern Dance, Ballet and Jazz.

Person: Yes, but Indian Classical is THE BASE.

10 years of immense effort, my B.A. in Dance, and all the work I continue to do: DISMISSED. But I don’t take it personally. It usually reveals their ignorance or bias, rather than my lack of knowledge.

There are stereotypes that trail me in the Bay Area too. A lot of times, I am asked “what ETHNIC form I do” as if that was a given. I have been invited for a few South Asian showcases and I like to clarify that I am an Indian doing Modern Dance, so I know I am not chosen to represent something that I don't do. The STRANGEST experience was when my choreography was performed at a Contemporary Dance Festival and the organizer kept asking me what Indian Classical form I did! I couldn’t believe that after watching my application dvd and the live performance, she was asking me that!

These are some of my FAVORITE comments:

Person: so is dance a profession or a hobby

Me: Not sure (This was 10 yrs ago)

Person: Better it stays a HOBBY ONLY

Person: What do you do?

Me: I am a dancer

Person: No, I mean REAL WORK.

Person: You should do something that is PROFESSIONAL

Person: Do something WORTHWHILE.

Person: People will not want a dancer in their family. No one will want to MARRY you.

What is my SAVING GRACE? I have a degree in English Literature from LSR in Delhi. People can relate to Eng. Litt. and LSR and it means that I have the potential to have a REAL JOB, even if I am wasting it!

What makes it WORSE?

 I do Bollywood Dance, which is a further negative for a lot of folks who revere the Classical Arts and brings to mind a preconceived image.  (Again this brings up the question of what Bollywood is to me. I like to stretch existing definitions, but that will be another posting!)

Anyways, I have learnt not to dwell on the words of those who typecast me or don’t appreciate my art. Instead I focus on the amazing RICHNESS of the Bay Area Dance Community, the wonderful dancers who inspire me every day and make my vision a reality and friends and family who support me, sometimes from 1000 miles away. I don’t want to list their comments as it would sound narcissistic, I’d feel shy and they are private. But they understand that I am constantly EXPLORING, QUESTIONING and FINDING MY VOICE. That I choose to speak in the language of Modern Dance is merely incidental.